Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Corbyn calls for cloth cap for high earners

Jeremy Corbyn has set out plans that could see high-earners having to wear cloth caps at work.

Addressing a gathering of his supporters from the business community today, he told the two falafel-stall holders that "no one takes a person in a cloth cap seriously".
Image result for corbyn cloth cap

While wearing a cloth cap, the Leader of the Opposition argued that forcing the super rich to wear cloth caps would "turn them into the figures of ridicule, the targets of vitriol, that we believe they should be in the kinder, more decent society we hope to create."

The Labour Leader's remarks come just days after he was reported to have proposed a cap on maximum earnings.

"We are used to this kind of post-truth misreporting by the mainstream media," a spokesman explained.

"Jeremy never called for a cap on high earnings. He called for a cap for high earners. This is a sensible sartorial suggestion for the 21st century".

"The idea that Jeremy would propose an outdated Cuba-style unworkable economic policy – although understandable - is in this case mistaken."

"However", the aide added, "given that Jeremy considers money to be the root of all evil, the suggestion that we might stop people from earning it is not without merit".

The policy has been criticized by economists who argue that it could lead to an exodus of talented individuals with very big hair.  

It is also unclear whether footballers would have to wear the cloth cap under Corbyn's policy. Arsene Wenger, manager at Corbyn's favourite team Arsenal, has said he would challenge the policy if it came to it. He added that while he would personally never agree to wear the cloth cap, he might compromise on a beret.

1 comment:

  1. Ohhh. I thought he was pushing the common agricultural policy for high earners to ensure that the money was doled out in economically bizarre quotas. This is a much more sensible interpretation.